3 Truths About Unforgiveness That Can Change Your Life TODAY

08 Jul 3 Truths About Unforgiveness That Can Change Your Life TODAY

Everyone has experienced hurt at some point in their lives. We have been hurt by our parents, friends, spouses, ex-spouses, children or just people in general. Some have experienced abuse of various kinds. But no matter what has happened, we must understand these 3 truths.

Truth 1 – Unforgiveness hurts you more than it hurts the person that offended you.

Many times we believe that when we choose not to forgive someone, that we are getting back at them. We ignore them, become rude to them, and in some cases, we “give them a piece of our mind.” Some resort to revenge and doing the same thing to the offender in the name of “teaching them a lesson.” Here is the truth. Unforgiveness is a TRAP that will hold you back from the FUTURE THAT YOU WANT, ALLOW FEAR TO DOMINATE YOUR LIFE, and WILL HURT OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU.

Truth 2 – Unforgiveness is a TRAP

I like to compare unforgiveness to the way that monkeys are trapped. Hunters set a trap by putting a heavy container down on the ground with a small hole. They then put bait inside the hole. Then the hunters wait for monkeys to walk by.

When the monkeys walk by, they smell the bait and put their hand in the hole to grab the bait. However, the size of the hole is big enough for the monkey to get its hand in by itself, but not big enough for it to get its hand out while holding on to the bait. The hunters walk by and hit the monkey on the head, and then it is captured.

How could those monkeys escape the trap? They simply had to let go of the bait that they were holding on to. If they let go, they would have been able to take their hand out of the container and run away, but the problem is that the monkey refused to let go of the thing that it thought it needed to hold on to.

So many people are trapped in life’s journey because they refuse to let go. Our human tendency is to hold on to the pain in a manner of self-preservation because we say, “I will never get hurt like that again.” However, when we hold on to what happened in our past, we are killing our future.

Many people are trying with all their might to move forward in life in their careers, relationships, and other things, and nothing is working. However, what we don’t realize is that the way we deal with the pain of the past will determine the success of our future. If you hold on to unforgiveness, you are killing your God-given purpose.

Truth 3 – Holding On To the Past Will Only keep the Wound Open

If you grab a sharp knife by its blade and squeeze, it is going to cut you, and you are going to bleed. The first thing that we have to do to stop the bleeding is to let go of the knife. If you continue to hold on to the knife, you are going to continue to bleed until you have no more blood in your body.

It is impossible to heal from the past that you are holding on to so tightly.

I know that there are some life experiences that you prefer not to go through again. I understand that the pain from your past is an authentic thing. However, the more real they are, the more critical it is for you to deal with the pain. It’s hurting you more than you know, and today is the day that you need to let go of it.

How Do I Let Go?

1. Change Your Focus

The first thing you must do is change your focus. You have to change your focus from the pain you feel to seeing what you need to do to heal.

“Later Peter approached Jesus and said, “How many times do I have to forgive my fellow believer who keeps offending me? Seven times?” Jesus answered, “Not seven times, Peter, but seventy times seven times!”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:21-22‬ ‭TPT‬‬

When Peter asked Jesus about forgiveness, Peter was focused on what people were doing to him, but Jesus’ response told him to change the focus on what we could do about the offense.

Jesus also said that there would be trouble in your life, but He also said to be of good cheer because He has overcome the world. (John 16:33)

The power isn’t in the problem; the power is in your response to the problem. And the first thing you have to do is change your focus from the pain you feel to your response on how you are going to heal.

2. Make a Decision To Forgive

Forgiveness is a decision you make, not a feeling you feel. At the end of this, you will see a link so that you can read more about this in my previous blog post. It is possible to forgive someone while still feeling the pain of what they did to you.

3. Refuse to Allow Your Feelings To Win

After you change your focus, after you decide to forgive, you will still have your feelings to deal with. They are always going to be strong and yelling at you. Here is one truth that you need to know about your feelings…”Feelings are great indicators, but horrible leaders.”

Think about the last time you did something that you know you shouldn’t have done because you based a decision on your feelings. Many times, those decisions do not turn out to be the best results for your life. Many times, we say, “I shouldn’t have done that” or “I shouldn’t have said that.” Feelings will probably still be raw, but recognize them and refuse to make a decision based on what they are saying to you.

Truth is what sets of free and understanding that unforgiveness is a trap and understanding the fact the holding on to the past just keeps the wound open, can set you free from the pain of the past. We were not meant to live in the past; we are meant to live moving forward to complete our God-given purpose.

Has your view of unforgiveness changed after reading this? Is there something that you changed your focus on? Did you decide to forgive someone? I would love to hear your thoughts about this.

Let’s grow together!!!

Herere is the link to the other blog post Forgiveness Being A Decision.

To read more about this, check out my first book, “The Purposeful Parent.” For $5.00 you can read more living a life of purpose. Forgiveness is covered in that book as well. If we choose not to forgive, we are choosing NOT to live in our full purpose.